and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
