We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
