I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
