I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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