i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize