Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
