just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
