Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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