He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize