Me too!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
