I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
organizing the empties. That sober.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
