Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
