We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
