omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
