I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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