...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
