In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
