My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Its about making memories worth repressing
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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