Fuck appropriateness.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
