I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
