She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize