I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
