ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
