Are we in a gay sports bar?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
