check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I am spending my child support on dildos
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
