That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
