maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
