we're blogging at a bar
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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