3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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