So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
