I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wear drunk well.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize