No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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