I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
