Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
