I wannas sexs uuuuu
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
