We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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