im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
