We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
