Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
