apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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