we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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