I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
