oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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