marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
