i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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