Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
