i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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