Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i out mim tonsoeep
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