the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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