I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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