I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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