We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
