I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
