my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
