So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
