He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
